I just can’t grasp it.

It’s crazy to me how such an amazing person could be taken from us so early.  It’s been about a week since the incident, and I still have not been able to wrap my head around this horrible reality.  Brendan you were such an amazing person.  I remember meeting you in kindergarten, and becoming closer to you when I began playing lacrosse in the third grade.  Our relationship became distant of course throughout the years, but that was strictly because of distance.  Throughout my years spent in the same school as you, and also the years I spent with you on the lacrosse field I have never once heard you drop a negative comment to anyone, in fact I don’t think you could if you wanted to.  Your positive demeanor shined and was contagious to everyone you spent your time with.  I remember seeing you a couple weeks before your passing for the first time in probably 2+ years.  You greeted me like I have seen you every day instead.  We spoke for a couple minutes about the colleges we were attending, and went our separate ways.  I wish I knew this would be the last time I would have seen you, I would have thanked you for all of the positive things you have done.  That’s the issue, as humans we do not think of those things until it’s gone. 

There’s no mystery why everyone has pretty much all of the same positive comments about you, because they are all true.  You didn’t have one mean bone in your body.  You not only were a friend to me throughout my childhood, you were also a motivator on the lacrosse field (mainly because you could run circles around me and pick corners like a BOSS).  Attending your wake I couldn’t help but become overwhelmed with a great amount of sadness.  Along with that sadness came the same amount of relief and comfort knowing that although your life was short lived, you have touched so many people.  I have never, ever, in my life seen that many people attend a wake to mourn the death of an individual.  Everyone that attended was there for the same reason; you have touched, motivated, or supported them at some point in your short life.  To help that many people in such a short time is what we all should strive for, and you set one hell of a bar for us to meet.

I have spent the last week or so trying to come to reality with the situation.  Even though we haven’t hung out in years, I still cannot believe you are gone.  What scares me is the fact that someone could senselessly take such an amazing, innocent, and grateful man from our world.  You are survived by an amazing, supportive, and strong family who was always by your side.  Every lacrosse game we had together, your family was always there.  Even your little siblings who also were playing lacrosse on the sidelines.

This experience has made me realize the fragility of life itself, and how in a moments notice, your life can change forever.  I hope they find the monsters that did this, and I hope justice is served for not only yourself, but for your family.  I hope you know that THOUSANDS (not joking) of people attending your memorial services, whether it be your wake or funeral.

Live your life with no regrets.  

Reach out and touch as many people as you can in your lifetime, because you’ll never know when it’s over.  

Live everyday like it’s your last day on earth.  

Be grateful for what you have, because you never know when it will be gone forever.  

Thank the people you love and care about every single day.  

And most importantly, LIVE LIKE TEV.

Rest easy buddy.  You were by far one of the greatest kids I have ever met in my entire life, and no one can believe you are gone.

R.I.P Brendan

I hope they have lacrosse in heaven.

$5 in my bank account.

so fucking college.